Doing Difficult Things

Confidence comes from doing things we're scared of again and again, until we become good at those things.  The problem is most people never get this far.  Fear of failure and what others will say if we fail can hold us back.  We inevitably retreat into the safety of, “This isn’t really me”, “I’m just not that type of person”, or, “I don’t like doing these things anyway, so why should I do them?”  These kinds of narratives persist even as they push us towards depression, because facing the fear seems an even more daunting task.  Your coach won't stand for this and has a number of techniques to get you to identify the reasons why you're scared.  Once these reasons are uncovered, your coach will then perform a reality check on each of them, exposing them for the imposters that they are.

Removing Limiting Beliefs

These imposters often come in the form of what psychologists call limiting beliefs.  These guys live in your subconscious; the home of all your beliefs.  When your conscious mind has a decision to make about a course of action (which, by the way, is pretty much every second of every day), it draws on these beliefs in order to make that decision.  If you have a subconscious full of generally positive beliefs then, guess what, you make pretty self-confident decisions.  This has a knock-on effect and people like this are also normally pretty happy and successful.  Don't feel bad, most people have a mixture of both good and bad beliefs, which were normally planted in us (non-maliciously) during childhood.  But these bad beliefs do need to be drawn out from their hiding places, if we are to continue to grow and not be held back.  The coaching process is very effective at doing this and even better at replacing them with more helpful belief systems.

Someone On Your Team

Okay, so you're facing this fear.  You now know where it's come from and you've even taken the time to expose the limiting belief system that's holding it together.  But now you need to take that brave first step.  Escape the people around you and make a commitment to the person who absolutely believes in you.  To your coach, you are not the person you've always been, you are the new person on the other side of this fear, looking back at your former self with renewed pride.  The coach knows you have it in you and helps you design a plan, full of small, achievable baby steps.  The saddest thing is seeing people who do have the courage to face their fear but who try and eat the elephant in one mouthful.  They invariably fail and end up with yet more evidence of why they can't do something.  People then end up telling themselves they were right to fear the thing in the first place.   But life doesn’t have to be this way.  With an experienced coach there to guide and support you through the process, you can become confident in almost anything you set your mind to.